this took 2 hours to type.

for some horrifying reason, my tuesday night at work (5-10p) was a million times busier than my sat AND sun (11a-7p) combined. please note: i work at the mall and it's just a few weeks before christmas. does this make any sense you people?? at least i was busy. i HATE being bored at work.

so, i began writing something about my experiences in 2007 and decided i'm going to write an essay on my year. i know - very nerdy. i actually gave myself an essay assignment. but this may become part of the book i'm writing.
i have no idea how it's going to turn out because it's already taken a few different turns from what i had in mind. it's amazing the things you realize about what you've been through when you start to see it in print. it's like i'm relearning all of the these lessons and seeing them from all points of view by seeing them down on paper. depending on how good it turns out, i believe i'm going to post it on my blog when it's done. so, if you're interested, you'll all get to learn just a little more more about me ;) and i know you're interested. don't fool yourselves.

leaving partial was slightly difficult yesterday. i've never known such an amazing group of people in my life. the things we go through together are things you can't explain. we see each other in a way that people outside of that room never get to see and it's such an amazing connection to have. i love you all to no end, and i hope you all get to join us up in iop.
i'm so excited for iop. from what i'm hearing, they have a great group up there right now and everyone is really at my level. it was starting to make me feel kind of awkward being so disconnected with the topic discussions in php, so this is going to be really good for me. they're all apparently very devoted to their recovery and letting go and moving on and living. and that's what i need to be surrounded with right now.

by the way, i keep getting asked the same questions. so for all you guys who are completely confused, here is my shorthand dictionary for you all:

d/c: discharge
edu: eating disorder unit - the inpatient medical care unit and highest level of care, aka Alcott @ Walden
gw: goal weight
iop: intensive outpatient program - the lowest level of care, 3 hrs a night/3 nights a week
mp: meal plan - the strict numbers of nutritional exchanges i need to eat in a day
neda: national eating disorder association
opt: outpatient team - the team of doctors i work with outside of Walden (pcp, therapist, nutritionist, etc.)
pcp: primary care physician - aka "the family doctor"
php: partial hospitalization program - the second lowest level of care, 6 hrs a day/5 days a week

i believe those are all the ones i've used. if i missed any, let me know. if you're still confused, feel free to ask questions. people keep asking if it's ok or if it makes me uncomfortable for them to ask me questions. it really doesn't. go right ahead.

that's it for now. i have a million things i need to do today and i really don't want to have it keep hanging over my head. and i'd really like to know where my bedroom is. i miss the right side of my bed and my floor...