nowhere to go, but up - the 100th post.

i consider the diploma that i received today my closure to the past 4 years of my life. according to the school, it was only for going through their photography program. for me, i feel like it was a really appropriate way to conclude everything that i've been doing since walking away from westborough high 4 years ago this month.

it took me a long time to get past the fact that i would not have 4 consecutive years at one school like the rest of my friends did. i felt rather inadequate for a while and it was difficult to work through that. i spent a lot of my time being babysat in treatment centers and hospital rooms while my friends were out doing what we're expected to do. it was hard to think that i wasn't any less of an 18-21 year old during that time, which i realize sounds beyond ridiculous.

now, i would say my experiences were something i can be pretty happy about going through. my time at dean was undeniably life-changing. the progression of my disease certainly would have gone differently had it not been for being there and i think it happened just as it needed to. while i was struggling to keep myself together in california, i can't seem to remember anything negative about that trip. i was rewarded with the feeling of being accepted into a great program at a 4-year institution, even if i ended up turning it down. and CDIA.BU... well, there really couldn't have been a more perfect time for that to come along. as for everything else that has become more than common knowledge, i am far from ashamed that i have spent so much of the last 3 years fighting my demons. in fact, i have never been more proud of myself in almost 22 years that i have gotten to this point exactly how i did. i wouldn't take a second of it back for anything, because i'm finally being rewarded with the life that i never used to think i deserved.

the fun facts my mom loves pointing out is that, out of high school, i wanted 3 things so badly that i strongly believed i would never have: to attend BU, to live in the boston area, and to graduate college with the same class i graduated high school with. i got it all in my own way, just as i've always done things. it feels pretty damn good.

so, here's to the end of another chapter and to the beginning of a new one.
i am so proud of all of the people that i have watched grow in the past 4 years in all of their own ways and i am proud to see the amazing things that many of the people i love are headed for.
thank you to everyone who had my back through the worst and best of it (and some of you don't know who you are, but i'll be sure to let you know). there are really no words for what it means to have you in my life.

congratulations to the class of 2oo8.
no matter your age,
no matter your definition of "graduation",
no matter how you got there.
no excuses, no regrets.

some retouching samples.

i've started another blog (don't worry - practicum is over so i only run 3) for my retouching work. just some samples, how i did them, and sometimes a trick or two. it's still a baby so there's a lot of work to be done. i'll get a real banner up there soon enough. you just wait.

anyways, i did head shots for a friend and fellow actress yesterday, so check 'em out. i was really happy with the outcome, then she told me she loved them, so now i'm really happy with it, lol.

esretouch.blogspot.com

i refuse to make *that* fbook group.

my phone has mysteriously disappeared. i refuse to say "i lost it" because it was next to me in my car, where i usually keep it... and i haven't seen it since. weirdest thing ever. yes, i've torn my car apart (which is mostly clean, believe it or not) and checked the parking lot it disappeared in and called the restaurant twice to make sure no one brought it in. bag, pockets, glove compartment...

maybe it's like how some cats run away from home when they know they're going to die.


anyways, that's all besides the point.

the POINT is that i need all of your phone numbers. believe it or not, there are only 4 people in this world that i have memorized, so even if you think, "oh, we've been friends forever and ever" i probably don't know your number.

the 2 best ways to get it to me:
e.mail me.
im me.

go.

school = over.

i procrastinated. a lot. and i paid for it. a lot.

in the past week, i had to pull my whole multi-media project together (as debuting at the end of this post), do one more shoot, print & mat (not to mention, cut the mats) 3 10x15 gallery prints, pick out 50 imgs to burn for the galley slideshow/cdia archiving, burn 20 of my best from practicum, and try to remember to eat and sleep.
then, of course, i had to deliver the final movie & and imgs (45 finals) to my client. a, now, very satisfied client, by the way.

i came in early today, which is automatically earlier than i have ever been in school, and crammed it all in. and i actually did it. i finished everything, got it all in, and received some pretty great feedback. and for the first time in weeks, the idea of graduation has hit me. it probably didn't really excite me before because there was so much standing in the way, but i've completed it.

i can breathe. and i am officially graduating in 8 days.

anyway, here's my final practicum project. it is intended to be a promotional video for their website. enjoy! :)

a quick shot from cloud.

this is one of my favorite shots from my client's project. i thought i would share.

fun fact: that handsome hand belongs to none other than the handsome jayme rubenstein. he came to their big event i had to shoot monday night... just like everyone else should have :P