self-injury awareness day 2012.

Today is Self-Injury Awareness Day.

This is a true cause that needs attention brought to it as it is extremely misunderstood and often (if not always) ignored. People are aware of breast cancer 365 (366 for 2012) days a year. People are aware of juvenile diabetes. Don't get me wrong; these are both extremely important causes and I will strongly raise awareness for both (especially diabetes), but today is truly about awareness. It is about drawing attention to something people want to pretend isn't there.

Self-injury makes people uncomfortable. People prefer things that are "normal" and hurting yourself is just not normal. You have to be "crazy" to hurt yourself. You must be an "attention whore" if you're hurting yourself.

So, allow me - if you will - to take a few minutes and educate you so that we can scratch away at just a little bit of the stigma that surrounds SI so that it doesn't have to be a taboo subject. Therefore, those that suffer can get the help they need.

Why do people hurt themselves?
This is the most important question to ask. People who have never had any form of connection with SI often seem to know the answer to this question automatically, which is odd if they've never talked about it before. Remember: when you assume, you make an ass out of yourself.

Self-injury is a coping mechanism, just like smoking, just like drinking, drug use, starving, purging, bullying... People who suffer from other mental disorders (depression, severe anxiety/panic, OCD) and/or traumatic experiences often feel overwhelming emotion that they don't know how to deal with. Often times, it's extremely difficult to talk about these feelings because there just aren't words for them. But it hurts. You can feel it; the pain is extremely physical, but it's not like when you get an injury you can see. Cuts can be bandaged and broken bones can be reset. There is a visible problem and a solution that takes the pain away. By making the emotional pain physical and visible, it (feels like it) can be dealt with. It's a release. You do whatever you can to take the pressure off.

On the other hand, some people have built a defense mechanism so strong that they not only were able to block out the pain, but any feelings at all. Their emotions have basically shut down and they feel numb. They're not happy, they're not sad, they're just... surviving from one day to the next. They may hurt themselves to feel something, anything to know they're actually alive.

Aren't they just looking for attention?
Some are. "Attention whore" is not exactly the right term, so I would try to drop that from your vocabulary. "Looking for attention" has become such a terrible thing. What if we replaced the word "attention" with "help?" Would you ever look at someone with disgust and say, "Ugh, they're just looking for help. How annoying." If someone is making a point of their injuries being visible, they are looking for attention. They need help and don't know how to ask. There's clearly a deeper issue there that needs to be looked at. Verbalizing that can be so difficult, especially in a society that prefers to ignore that people have those deeper issues. See where I'm going with this?

Others are not looking for attention. If the injuries are on a typically visible part of their body, they'll cover it. There are a lot of people self-harming that you don't realize, too. There's a lot of skin you don't see. Here's the bottom line: it's not about you. It's about them.

Isn't self-harm just a trendy "emo kid" thing?
For those who don't know, "emo" is a label given to angsty kids and adults who wear band t-shirts and wear black eyeliner, dye their hair weird colors and like body modifications maybe more than the average person. "Emo" is short for "emotional." Man, we love our labels, don't we?

Everyone deals with their feelings and self-expression in different ways. Some people choose to label themselves, and that's fine. But if you choose to label yourself one way, that doesn't mean you have the right to pigeon-hole anyone else. They have just as much freedom to express themselves in whatever way they see fit as you do.
That said, no, self-harm is not an "emo kid" thing. People that tend to fit that stereotype (we'll say closer than others) do tend to be more open with their feelings and may have depression, anxiety and other related disorders. However, I was that kid and while most of my friends were into the same music and style that I was, they did not fit the "emo" bill.

BUT, if you like labels, let's look at the labels that self-injury can fall under: the "emo kids," the geeks, the jocks, the "popular kids," people with straight As, people on the verge of flunking out of school, middle schoolers, high schoolers, under grads, professionals, executives..
Oh wait, that's right... brain chemistry doesn't recognize social labels.

Approximately 1% of the US population uses self-injury as a coping mechanism. It seems like a small percentage, but the chance of you knowing someone who does or has is a lot higher than you think. In fact, if you're reading this, you now know at least one person, if you didn't already.

Alright, fine, so it can happen to anyone. What am I supposed to do about it?
Great question, I'm glad we got to this point.
For those that want to do the absolute minimum (if that's the case, congratulations for at least reading this far!), here are the smallest changes that make a huge difference:

• Stop. Making. Jokes. People are hurting themselves. And when people joke about it and don't take it seriously, it puts that much more of a mask over it. And when things like this are masked, people are less likely to seek help. Yes, that includes the oh-so-popular "I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself" joke. Every time comments like this are made, ignorance gains power. If you want to take it once step further, don't encourage others to make jokes, either.
  
• Ask questions. If you want to know anything about self-injury, or if you think you know something about SI but have never confirmed it, ask someone. Inform yourself. And if you don't care about it enough to do that (I don't mean that judgingly - I don't expect everyone to want to get involved with every cause they see promoted), then at least just don't comment about it at all. If you're not going to take the time to learn about it, don't assume you know anything about it.
  
• Tell someone. If you think someone is hurting themselves, talk to them first. If it's a close friend or family member, approach them. Clear your mind of judgement or I can guarantee you they're going to shutdown. It's not exactly something they're proud of to begin with.
  If you're not close with them, tell a parent, a school advisor or a counselor. It takes 5 minutes of your day and you could really be a voice for someone that doesn't know how to use theirs yet.

If you want to get more involved, spread the word.

Make a post about SIAD, send people this blog entry, learn the facts.
If you want to get super involved, join the TWLOHA Street Team.

I or someone close to me has self-harmed and I don't know where to go or what to do.

Here are some resources for you and/or someone you know.
Please share these wherever you can. Everyone needs to know there is help available.

To Write On Her Arms is an org dedicated to raising awareness and hope for those that suffer with depression, anxiety, self-injury and related disorders.

Help lines:

Depression Hotline:                       1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline:                             1-800-784-8433
LifeLine:                                        1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project:                               1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support:                          1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline:               1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault:               1-800-656-4673
Grief Support:                                 1-650-321-5272
After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

You can also always feel free to contact me or to have someone contact me.
I will always make time for anyone that needs to talk.
gchat // emilysamr