wearing recovery on my sleeve.

I've wanted a tattoo probably since I was about 16-years-old. I've had a lot of different ideas come through and a lot of designs I've wanted and actually still want.

When I was in treatment circa 2007, I decided that once I could deem myself "fully recovered," I wanted to get this tattoo you see here to the right. That would be my official gift to myself.

I've come to realize some people don't understand why a person would want to permanently mark themselves for any reason, so I'd like to express why this was not only incredibly important to me, but something I truly felt I needed to do.

I've probably mentioned it before, but my parents raised my brother and me with the understanding that we could do whatever we wanted -- anything from drugs to owning exotic animals as pets -- as long as we fully educated ourselves on what it was we wanted to do and what the possible consequences of our actions would be. I have lived by this my whole life, so you can imagine getting a tattoo was not a choice I made lightly. This was no Chinese character I wanted on the back of my neck because it was cute and I was bored.

The designs, this one especially, are those that I've sat on for years. I did all the research on tattoos from possible effects on health to aftercare to making sure I found the perfect place (thanks, Yelp).

First off, to answer the most common question I get, my tattoo is the NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) logo that has been adopted as the official symbol of recovery. In case you don't know, I am approximately 3 years fully recovered from an eating disorder. (Also, welcome to my blog. This is clearly your first time here if you weren't aware of my history.)

This is one of the most important symbols in my life. It is who I am and who I will always be. My recovery from Anorexia Nervosa is what built me and molded who I am and what I want to do with my life. I got the tattoo understanding that I would frequently be asked about its meaning and would not have gotten it if I was not prepared (or was in any way ashamed) to talk about what it is.

Why did I need it permanently on my body? Because that's the type of person I am. I'm open about what's important to me and I want it to be visible. People express themselves in all kinds of none verbal ways such as jewelry with charms or photos that say something about where they come from, or clothing of a certain style or brand. Some people, like myself, like things a little closer and more permanent.

My favorite accessories are those that will stay on until they fall off on their own (i.e. hemp or Kabbalah bracelets). My friends will even tell you I'll wear concert bracelets until they tear off. The things I feel any sort of connection with are not temporary and I don't want my expression of them to be either.

Also, there's the fact that it's very common to recover and get the NEDA tattoo. When I see others with it, I feel like we're connected. And I hope that when they see mine, they will know they're not in this alone.