i've decided i am not going to apologize for myself and how i've acted these past 2 weeks or so, because that was out of my control. i do, however, appreciate the patience that you've all had with me (3 people, in particular). it's meant a lot. let's just say some lifestyle changes have been made (we can blame my insurance company for one of the major ones) and i think things are going to start to even out from here on in.
surprisingly enough, i've shown a great deal of contrast in how i handled things (specifically last tuesday and wednesday night) in comparison to how i would in the past, which was very comforting. i've also found the motivation to give myself more of a push and have gotten a great deal of typically difficult-for-me-to-accomplish tasks out of the way this week. that feels pretty good.
new goal: avoiding the phrase "i can't afford it." the phrase, in itself, is rather victimizing, which is not my style; i was taught better than that. whether or not it's true, there is nothing necessary about saying it and it doesn't get me any closer to being able to "afford it". besides, i am actively job-searching, and have made a good deal of money (utt) in the past month which...blows my mind. at least i know, now, that i am officially set (bills/rent) at least through july. not to mention, i expect to have more money coming in before that time, anyways. i really have nothing to worry about.
life, coping skills, personality traits... these things are all a constant work in progress, aren't they...
as long as i can continue to consider myself "stable", i consider myself in a very good place.
surprisingly enough, i've shown a great deal of contrast in how i handled things (specifically last tuesday and wednesday night) in comparison to how i would in the past, which was very comforting. i've also found the motivation to give myself more of a push and have gotten a great deal of typically difficult-for-me-to-accomplish tasks out of the way this week. that feels pretty good.
new goal: avoiding the phrase "i can't afford it." the phrase, in itself, is rather victimizing, which is not my style; i was taught better than that. whether or not it's true, there is nothing necessary about saying it and it doesn't get me any closer to being able to "afford it". besides, i am actively job-searching, and have made a good deal of money (utt) in the past month which...blows my mind. at least i know, now, that i am officially set (bills/rent) at least through july. not to mention, i expect to have more money coming in before that time, anyways. i really have nothing to worry about.
life, coping skills, personality traits... these things are all a constant work in progress, aren't they...
as long as i can continue to consider myself "stable", i consider myself in a very good place.
No comments:
Post a Comment