my new apartment.. is incredible. i'm actually obsessed with it. i can't believe how happy and at home i feel here. and, even more so, how happy gus seems to be. there's no doubt that the tension i was suffering through didn't even come close to what he felt. he seems much more relaxed here, which makes me even happier.
i still have some stuff to unpack and organize, although i've thrown a lot of useless, old crap away (files, bills, stuff from when i first moved into the old apt). the space is fantastic. i have room to live and i don't feel like there are any boundaries in my own home.
we've done a lot of furnishing and a lot of money has gone into the place, but not nearly as much as it could have been. mom and i rock the deals & sales. don't mess with us in the christmas tree shop.
the nightmare is not completely over. in fact, it has gotten slightly worse in an unbelievable way. just a little bit longer and a few more tasks at hand and it should be done. with everything i've been through and witnessed, you would think i could at least comprehend such disfunction.. but i've never seen anything like this before.
work is going well. money is starting to pick up and should only get better from here with all the bentley/brandeis kids coming back this month. i work 40-50 hr weeks and i'm pretty happy with what i have to show for it. yes, making ends meet is slightly difficult, but you do what you have to. i'm happy and i'm free, and that's what's important. i have a new contract position which may or may not pull through. however, i'm getting paid while we figure out if it'll last, so i'm okay with that. i have a new network contact - a photographer - who wants to see some more up-to-date work and start feeding me clients. and, on top of all that, i got my loan the other day to go back to school.
i've decided to take the "don't think too much" approach about going back to cdia. the "thinking too much" goes along the lines of, "what if i can never pay back my loan? what if i decide i hate what i'm doing and want a complete career change? what if i crash? what if i can't get enough hours at work around my school schedule? what if i can't do the one show i've been dying to do for 9 years and finally have the opportunity for it?" what if, what if, what if........what if i could get a grip and realize that if i don't go back to school, i'll be taking contract jobs that i only kind of enjoy and making my base income out of tips for the rest of my life? when your full time job is waitressing and you've graduated.. is there really a "better time" to go back? if you answered "no," then we're on the same page. congrats.
No comments:
Post a Comment