put me in, coach.

i'm not going to sit here and defend myself to people who aren't in my exact same position. i know what you think it looks like because i've been told. i'm tired of being told how lazy it looks like i've been.
i'm not going to play the victim. i have nothing to regret. i gave myself time to do what i needed to do whether you agree with that or not. this one month isn't going to matter for shit soon, anyways. tomorrow, i take a nose-dive back into the life that i gave up exactly 4 months ago today. so we can dwell on what you think i should or shouldn't have done in the past month, or we can get over it and let me move on and kick ass from here on out.

things i have to look forward to:

• heading back to CDIA
• getting back on track with my certificate
• preparing for my next step in edu
• meeting a whole new class of people (hopefully in my age group...)
• making money
• i have my d/t for petsmart tomorrow, so i'll start there soon
  (i already explained in the interview that this is a temporary placement...)
  
• i was offered a kick ass opportunity doing promo photog work for boston clubs
• i'm going to meet with my career adviser this week and get my name out there for retouching
• and 2 other things; one's in the works and one...is on the DL is isn't all that reliable
• h-e-a-l-t-h
• i've been loyal to my stretching routine (yes...it's possible...now)
• school = consistent structure = better sleeping habits = better eating habits
• better eating habits = weight restoration
• march
• more specifically... march 21 (spring) :D
• warmth isn't far away (in fact...we had some about a week ago, already)
• i've got new blades, yo

and the #1 thing i'm looking forward to...

• leaving it all behind.
• feb '06
  
• sept - nov '06
• jan '07
• oct '07 - feb '08

i'm starting over... and i take it as a good sign that i start over the week of nedaw 2008, the beginning of a new month, and exactly 4 months after i hit rock bottom. and, god, i did this all during the winter. i did the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life during the hardest 4 months of the year. if i could do it then... imagine how amazing the rest of the year (and all upcoming winters) will be.

now, i'm gonna go finish immaculating my room. can't start new in a mess. (well, you can... but why would you want to?)